The Importance of Relationships
Recovery and prevention systems depend highly on the development of true relationships among peers and organizations. The argument in opposition focusing on the word “true” is that we cannot use our self-driven techniques to create a truthful relationship in society. This technique would create a false cultural paradigm in which we follow fallaciously. Conformity to a self-centered relationship is founded in deceived systems of truth. The deception claims that we can control the circumstances in life while acquiring the capability to invent these self-willed cultures that seem to work apart from our Creator.
The deception trap communicates that man can create true relationships without God. This simply is not so. The true power in any relationship is strengthened by the foundation of the Gospel. True relationships are formed in unity with Christ and are the only relationships that will hold true throughout Eternity.
Before exploring the power in Divine relationships let’s survey an example of relationships or groupings formed from the world’s metaphoric perspective. These examples are not necessarily modelling the deception trap; however, deception can be found in the subsequent groupings.
The following is an example of human organized or developed relationships. The world has assigned titles in order to promote conformity and classes of characteristics and personalities. These titles are formed to arrange each dispensation into a category that attempts to define the group. This system takes a secular approach that disguises sinful behavior covering up evidence of God and allowing for the promoting of self-beliefs and self-esteem laced in pride.
We label these metaphors: Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and others such as cults and organized private club memberships. When another generation is born into diversity of self-importance and has grasp the inner need of independence and separation of individuality, another title will be developed in order to excuse the non-unity in Christ allowing the promotion of independence of self-identity that sets the stage for cultural separation. Another words, these groups typically don’t find their identity in God.
Let’s explore some of the important principles stemming from healthy relationships in Addiction that can actually solve or block the fall into substance abuse. Healthy relationships can help build and sustain recovery and therefore remain in a sober life. Relationships allow for good connections which can strengthen recovery capital resources and mutual collaborations. Through a collaboration of relationships, clinical and recovery capital supports can be found that further the recovery growth process. This too builds stronger relationships which can spring into positional growth and new skills. This relational process is called the Recovery relationship cycle. One builds from another successfully if developed in a true relationship.
A paramount in the recovery process that encourages building true relationships is lived experience. Lived experience is the PhD of addiction counseling. There are several reasons for this; one is that a person (Mentor) who has experienced the same suffering as the person they are helping is secured with relatability, empathy, and compassion for this person in a powerful way. Another point is that the mentee will invest much trust in the mentor because of the common relationship in lived experience. And still another benefit is that the trials and tribulations that coexist with lived experience has set forth a solid foundation of knowledge and wisdom which supports ultimate growth and the ability to translate that wisdom to others.
Upon exploring 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 we discover that our God is a God of all comfort who comforts us in all affliction. The practice here is that God is preparing us through affliction to be able to comfort others as a result of our sufferings whom experience quite the same trials.
The next step is to determine the value of the relationship. Some relationships can be toxic which is the antithesis of a healthy relationship. Returning to 2 Corinthians we read in 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” Most assuredly a relationship coming from a lived experience situation should be a healthy one and one that will encourage growth and development towards the mentee’s recovery journey.
Some characteristics identified as a result of a healthy relationship are: sobriety, empathy, stability, honesty, comfort, commitment, and support. You might recall an experiment that involved rats that were intentionally isolated in a cage that would seek the cocaine laced water for pleasure, as opposed to the rats who were placed with other companions in the cage content with the relationship did not visit the drugged water. Healthy relationships bring joy into our lives in which transcends the need for substances. The first relationship to develop is not of man, but is with Christ. The order is vertical and then the blessing spans horizontal. To create a true relationship, it must first be a relationship in Christ.
Through the power of the Holy Ghost the relationship is made between man and Christ which brings the transforming power of God. At Transformation to Recovery, we don’t work on sobriety; we work on a new creation with a new identity with a new purpose in Christ. Once this new creation happens, sobriety naturally follows.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed, behold all things have become new. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
The power is in the transformation into a new creation in Christ. This power creates true sobriety that does not focus on self-works of staying sober.
The power of relationships found in Christ is a renewed life, a born-again experience in which surpasses all world systems and programs such as we find in recovery meetings. Take heed of the power in Christ as we read in Ephesians 4:13-14, “till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting.” As one experiences the power in the unity of Christ, this relationship guards the person against any false fables of the world which can cause someone to go right back into the addiction.
John K. Carlson
Executive Director, Transformation to Recovery